I think I understand why Phil Hellmuth cries when he gets knocked out of an event. It’s very important, I think, to truly believe that you will win every event you play. Or if not that you *WILL* win, at least that you *CAN* win.
Yesterday, I believed it… which is what makes it so hard when you don’t finish well. We started with 80 people left and as I looked around the table I could see a couple players who really gave me the impression that they were gunning for me. The first guy who gave me that impression reraised me all-in a few hands into it. I had raised with tens. I decided to call because he only had about a third of my stack and I figured he didn’t have me beat. He had KJs. No help for him… seeya next time. I looked down and saw that I was the chip leader at my table.
Maybe a half hour later, I raise with AQo and this guy named Jason reraises all-in. I put him on a weaker ace and ask if he’s feeling lucky. He gives me a little smile and a wink, and that’s when I know I have him dominated. I call. He turns over A7 and makes a boat. Sick. He tells me later that he “felt” it. Say goodbye to a third of my chips.
I said goodbye to another third when I raised to 18k in the SB with A7o and the BB moved all-in for another 6k. So I called. He turned over A8. The board came 22Q, so it looked like we were probably going to chop it up. Turn : 3. River : 5. Damn.
The next chunk I lost was with KQs. I raised a shorter stacks BB and he called with pocket 33s. No help for my KQ. Goodbye more chips. Now I’m sitting at about 36k and the blinds are 4k-8k with 800 antes. One of the guys I felt was gunning for me decided to limp in utg with AQ. I moved all-in with AK. He calls. Queen right on the flop. Good game guys… seeya later. That’s when the tears started.
Just kidding about the tears. There’s no crying in poker. But I did feel pretty disappointed. I ended up I think 35th and they paid top 30. I got unlucky, yes… but then I ask myself *WHY*. The problem with believing that everything happens for a reason is that when something bad happens you question the why of it and are usually left coming up empty with reasons.
For whatever reason, I was not meant to win that tournament (or even cash). Friend and fellow Intervault founder Jotham cashed, though, so that’s strong. But I know I’m there, and I hope that I’m meant to win the Shooting Stars this week. I’m in the zone so they better watch out.